endless minutes

Your preoccupied and overloaded thoughts oftentimes exclude the individuals who are of the most importance to you. Once, you communicated freely with no afterthought, yet you now spend time agonizing over words and phrases that hold no emotion, attempting to find some meaning. Pleasantries now transpire where reflective conversations once took place. Fruitful, personal discussions surrounding ideas and concepts now focus entirely on people and events. To both parties the conclusion of the friendship is visible, yet no one intercedes. A quick note, phone call, or text message ceases to occur and you feel neglect, assuming you were the cause of this demise.

The implicit and explicit factors that define a friendship vary across different planes of expression. Those established in utility and pleasure, waiver and fade because of our ever-changing desires, wants, and wishes. True friendship and appreciation amongst companions are recognized through the unconditional emotions that are prevalent in times of affliction or joy. Digesting the loss of a friendship is never amicable and the realization that it is no longer ones’ position to provide care and concern for them inflicts more harm on their already open wound. Friendships vested in differing principles can take their own paths, which sometimes do not include you…

She sat alone, legs dangled on the side of the bed. Her eyes faced upwards while attempting to steady the rectangular phone in her hands. Swift fingers copy and pasted the same falsely upbeat text message to seven different contacts, hoping one would bite. Silence and solidarity frightened her, and to combat the sensation she attempted to find solace in the meaningless messages. The responses she received lit up her phone, yet left her face in a melancholic state, unchanged. The messages she collected did not fill the void that encompassed her egocentric thoughts. Neglectfully, she was now trapped, knowing that she had to maintain her facade and act the part of the intrigued friend. On the other side of the blue text bubbles, friends attempted to comprehend the inauthentic and indifferent messages, slowly becoming silenced by the apathy.